Newspapers / The Lash (Moravian Falls, … / Aug. 1, 1912, edition 1 / Page 1
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-4 -Wi i MORAVIAN FAILSrN.C 'AUGUST 1912 U 'IK r . , . Readers, I offer an apology for this dry issue of ." The Ify t W the whole irihine that makes - ' the sarned critter, afid I got tired of tr et pe and mail the paper k the woodshed, m I s, - kicked the darned thing dowA the. Very day J J V v'flediaittngcftitist issue and atarted:-lmild- - , ingwe an oSce, Sieving that there were twenty- frre thousandpeple who would help" a little bit ' kn ii archoppin' and 'nailing and ' , a-sawin' as steady as old Noah was a building the . I haye w forced, to neglect the newspapers--wouldn't know it if BiH faft had : foreclosed on A. : . .charged upon with that wa'ftring'. Ithat had 7" aought toy first crust crusher as its eagei conquest. And 'when .the whole Yfambylhadsnceeeded in piling themselves upon rne about three double, '.there suddenly came flashing into "my memory an other passage of Scripture like this: 'f ' "Oti, deat wherejsAhisJ&gXji Oh.sijrSread; whertTs thy victory? ' . The enormous weight upon me.forced my mouth , open as a, necessity and the only thing to do was gasp for I breath, as the, hangrxian'a nooze was shipped oyer that condemned tooth 'that was just then enjoying the lasttages of its destiny. The flax string was carefully tied I saw a.look of ex treme satisfaction pass over each one's face I Jbe- garr 1,o recatfl all the mean things I had ever done, 15 Gorfs PK3t Yju: Ttox Corns, ix.co light of now, no burning Cstd d greatness marks Oeir legislative gjenius save tie late bob-tailed abosh they propose tohang bnio the' marriage qualiffcation in their state. . That l?2islature pro poses to build statutory ? Jaws satirist granting ' marriage license to any fellow who stcies drinks, chews, or cusses the family cat, parts tia hair in the middle, has ngly dreams, or ever lovr i girls than one. Yes sir, if they cari"r;tt tLJr irire muzzles on the Georgian :v,fellow-tav4Ato.,'"::" ' possess the character of a seeondrhard iurt LcTore he can swear servitude to a yomig kjy ia thewey of keeping the other enof the piowsisaslcd , flat as a fritter, providing plenty' of 'stovewood k and Easter bonnets, paying her tiillinery bdls and v ' 'S. wjnmutcii uuBMji Mft fCT pone, - i-' 4 . " v' . ' ana hanging then! oyer the clothes line to see bT , y r . ,T . a . . a ...;-'? Georgians found neomnetenti Terhans-' it wnn1f v A' few paragraphs at njght, but made a flat failure, them dig each, other bbut the eye-browa. I could ana u ue prcnaenuai canaiaaies aon't iouow. near tne groans of, Lee Redman's old mule that tome man's dawg off, 111 make 'em know a hoss accidentally got his tail fastened to a bundle of bide ifrom a 'possom skin next month. I'll hare y blazing blade fodder without me having snything my new office completed and then 111 start camp- at all todo with it. I imagined jmy old school mgontteirtraiU , teacher before me who put on his hat,oneJime .1 never saw a time when t could use a dollar's, at school without emptying out the halls of chew- worth of subscriber? better than now. Wil you ' gum. And right here my reflections all came ' make a dojlar scramble for ten of your friend's to a sjadden halt that string began its cruel task, ' dhnesi Tell enj Laws is goin' to make Hannah the earth rocked, the sky split, lighted darkness - toe the xpark from now on- The Lash is'-going canie togeSierMosesl nine pints ten-peniy Snails! 1 . afuwaHty from;0reenland's icy .mountain to MaryAnnl Sweet Caesar in a pumpkin. patch!' I - CapeBonie'ssbrmrshore. .It will continue1, to ' Vhmgntlwas riding around the world eleveri ' - . ' ,amoke its smokeless tobacco till ttie wind gangs ' s ' thnet a minute on a flyin'Jennie, with, two yoica- ' J?68 fright and then it will draw, a - ac in each hand and a cyclone in mrhaUM; v t 66rf mwv. a- vuuujjii w. , js.-r-a-s-.ni anq 11 was an - over, ana was lett i . J V. -; V 3 t-? r IIS : ....;eRMesJ to, wiflumt flowers. The again .tp enjoy Seventeen moreJike McasionsT Xashmean&tohottp corpse for eyery" empty pit a nature saw fit to hand them overtomei t1' 1' - -! . P01-; - . - SNow all yW folks who' wan io . carii have yoS S i ' ' i:jv." T' Vt':v 1 L " ' teeth yiinked asnnder by a blood-thirsy dentist 1 il ' ' vVvIJWttlE TOOTH YANKINV , Cydu feel like it but as for me, rdrather wearthein Vr? VA-r glQ' v "" palled ontr;t ' J.': "deoVn.theoIencVof a cold-hearted 'dental V; VlAtVAY DOWN IN GEORGIA. K v olive-branch of inywoe-begotten romariceiTw'as'; 'Gh,-I jEnsist on ? :i&K(Jv Wce;andhkd,.ttibuth full 'of teeth:' that " Jvb '-brought to me more rea) sorrow thatt Joseph'" did , owl skin with the tail v , J- U j, '.-,to old Abei" who madethat Coat of ' many' colors, .Ut- I - 7 ,V , "li1 Poycooo; i'uera uese decorations , ot gnnnage m Aauja ";V;; k 113 a-pc-ns ci ccunsi as well'as to ruminate; my;, .agarnsi tne runnm Y'. ' iiVCf.r- ndwl Ut there came a'thue, when ,1 was'rbei;; dug.up one presenting thGeorgii legis lature, with Ave bushels of buttons and a scrooch and jgars on it for each mem-' ; That gan of lazy lobsters' who congregate anQ uy xo.ouij mwr siiegea Drain out gears ot nonsense, nave at last r sensible bill and are all stooped fever it Georgians found competent.5 ' Terhap' It would open a matrimonial market for North Carolina ' wife hunters. ' We have 'enr here 'abundance who will marry without having anything or revea r' i promising anything to their captive lovers. And -worse still, they don't care a hucklebeny duanto ever have anything except a big store account indl a drove of dirty faced brats with not over half a yard of three cornered clothing in alV the world. Hanged if I aint in favor of Georgia paisin about a two-horse load of state legislation snddehverin ; ; it C. O. D. at the front gate of a heap of pur Tar- : . Heel cusses who haven't energy enough to scratch v V if they had the itch. Honestly, I believe- jthe" i vK ; -, Almighty ought to job a fellows eyes out and spit ' Y ' A in the holes who will raise half a score' hf hungry v ' ' , v. -1 , t brats without even giving them enough to eat once ifl't & t 1 1 "v 4 a year. We know several mangy cusses ' who 7 V could' sell babies, at twenty-five cents -each and " -J" r .' - K purchase half of Washington City, yet they are too v s , ' uuscu luu uiiiuug iu even own pairs . overallsr . : ' "L Georgians, just keep on threshing out restrictive laws against hobos disgracing wedlock,4 and if you i to make the Tar-rieel state resemble something 9 more than a western sheep ranch. v When money talks the devil listens. 1 .'V-rt'V-"3t-K!WWM.rore;ny- A fellow who will trr to stand for the old star- - ' natedtnmDsucker who is" trvinc to roe xenublicati , . v A r 'iAF:xtSLt -i1 i-d long stood guard ter.aiaob . rascality is-ahout.the cheape$t:job nature" ever-. v -v;' -C?taL'U'--la4Iccdotrader turned loosed S1 ' f ' va f&f ' tad 4Tways hiifolelative remSns ' - .-i i k' ViVS- ' '1 tA : "4 -ot!::x c t rle cand ot two-horse i opmenC;mell ' ; iS V y rlatn-.V 'Jh objected to &i awful ' they.can't do anything .ay.down h'GeorgU" . overnment . of, for.and .by , ' !'r:rc- 7cfec.-::L- -7c" closing to his folk jthS-fSoeH te cttott Soot 7- Si w" "de ' J41 -"Wchbytwit , j.-'Vij aT,axtltlrc -1 1 family, across the ;v"j.ht with the back-yard; fenceu"; ; Now Tie 'tash, V '.Republicanism when last seen was soUtary and: i',:Vi . cr tcr2 1 : 1 ' : rry's Moimtotfseeim, V,:, declares that tisy ,can."do ome- things cs well('asr, alone in thViMoM;wide)aen 'sennundxedvH1; vi;,r"' ; . i : y r - tl:- : t , ' j f :iy 'understandhy pothers don ia Georgia. That amadr - st:art set . and fifty-three miles irom any signs of civilization,; :V; V'f ' 1 J i" 't 1 1 II canity and fvex- have hfjtt f ollowing the meacdci! jef their "rmjgrr'craGreeiilsnds, Icy JIouctain,v and'; , r.. 1 1 - .. v. - 'ltras no greater .t ncC3r3sC ;rcHipg 'the ; pocktt-t : 3 cf.the rubbint its stciache, .or; thing, but. it', bully -?". , " f -thaawhenlwlGecrtjtod white;orit;er 'V-' , i f . oread mis Con vizi.i : tacs it. on .to youh cqradb,'and ass 71m to surscRiBis, witLrirou? ; i-A :
The Lash (Moravian Falls, N.C.)
Standardized title groups preceding, succeeding, and alternate titles together.
Aug. 1, 1912, edition 1
1
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